10 Ways to Get Out of That (depressive) Rut
I love any opportunity to discuss mental health, and based on the current state of my social media timelines… we need something like this. Times are hard–even harder if you struggle with mental health. The maintenance of a positive and healthy mind can feel like a full-time job, and let’s be honest, most of us are getting whooped by the full-time jobs and responsibilities we already have. The state of the world is basically in complete disarray with a variety of factors to indulge our anxieties and fears, and sometimes that weight gets too heavy.
Most of you know I struggle with mental health (diagnosed w/ Cyclothymia a few years back), so I experience a lot of mental ruts. Ruts look different for everyone, and they don’t always mean depression. They take different shapes and forms, but they are all subjective, and it’s important to know what it looks like to you, and for you. For me, I know I’m in a rut when I feel uninspired, overwhelmed by the ‘simple’ things like cooking dinner, extremely tired, and extremely sensitive to everything happening around me. This is when I take a step back, do some deep breathing, and implement The Plan (patent pending. Okay, just kidding. But it’s a really cool idea that I’ve edited and ‘perfected’ constantly over the years with my therapist’s help. Part of me wonders if The Plan could benefit someone else, too.)
As always, anything I post on my blog(s) is subjective to me and my personal experiences, so never expect anything to be a one-size-fits-all kind of thing–take what resonates and leave the rest. It is my hope that something sticks and you’re able to use it to crawl out of a mental rut, no matter the capacity.
Before you read, please know The Plan takes actual work and effort, like most things worth having. Don’t expect this to be a cakewalk–it may seem hard, but it’s totally worth it. I haven’t failed a bounce-back yet, and I don’t intend to. To sum it up… just trust me. This isn’t a structured list–you don’t have to do these things in order by any means, nor do you have to do all of them.
Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.
1. Shower
People underestimate the power of hygiene. Full transparency, there’ve been some days I’ve had to literally drag my butt to the bathroom, just to stand under the water in tears for 30 minutes before bathing. Sometimes, skincare and dental care feels like a chore (and it can be), but there will never be a time where you feel worse after getting your body clean. I always tell myself, ‘clean body, clean mind’; the shower gives me a chance to think and ‘scrub’ away all the negativity that’s been weighing me down. I always feel better afterward. Even if you have to force each one of your bones to get to the bathroom, do it.
2. Get Cute
Don’t underestimate the power of a quick makeup look and an outfit that doesn’t involve sweats and hoodies. Sometimes I'll get cute just to do nothing; just to exist from my couch. Getting cute is nothing short of a confidence boost. That tiny burst of confidence might be the catalyst to help tackle your challenges with optimism and urgency. Be sure to take your time getting dressed, so you get a full chance to admire your face and body. Bonus points if you take pictures to cement the look.
3. Eat well
When I’m in a major dump, I tend to gravitate towards carbs, sugars, and fattening BS that I only halfway enjoy. This is not the way to go. Those kinds of foods can actually make you feel worse afterward, and we don’t need that! No, I’m not telling you to go and have a big ol’ salad, because that’s likely the last thing you want to eat when you’re in a rut. Think more… comfort food from childhood like a grilled cheese + tomato soup, a good pot roast, and in my case? A nice steak. Try to make it balanced. ‘Comfort’ food doesn’t have to be terrible food; it should be filling, balanced, and equally satisfying. Add some fruits and veggies to your plate when you nibble throughout the day. Just like a flower that’s been recently watered starts blooming and gaining movement, your body needs that same ‘watering’ represented through what you choose to eat.
4. Laugh a little, or cry a lot… with a movie
Have you ever needed to release emotion, but struggle to do so? I do. We all know laughing/crying are excellent forms of release, but achieving that release while in a rut can be challenging. I like to trigger them through movies or shows. Put on that heart-clenching drama movie to tug at your heartstrings. Throw on some standup comedy from your favorite comedian to get the laughbox warmed up. There’s nothing wrong with using an aide for emotional release. No matter the ‘reason’ for your crying, that release will feel so good. It will help move you toward healing.
5. Go outside… and people-watch
When I’m in a rut, I have trouble seeing outside of myself–it feels like the weight I’m carrying is the only weight in the world, and my brain tricks me into believing everyone else is happier and less-burdened than I am. This is a lie our brains create. Go to a populated area–extra points if you’re outside getting fresh air–and people-watch. Yup. Don’t be creepy (wear sunglasses if necessary); take some intentional time to analyze other humans in their raw elements. My favorite place to people-watch is a public park. As you people-watch you will notice an array of things: you will notice joy. You will see some people with disgruntled looks on their faces. You will witness someone arguing on the phone. You will witness someone rubbing their temples from stress. You will notice an array of emotions and implications that will redirect that lie where it belongs: the trash. Being immersed in humanity allows me to look at the bigger picture: we’re all specks on a floating rock going through a bunch of BS at the same time.
Witnessing people’s joy reminds me there were times I smiled, and that there will be times I smile in the future. Witnessing people’s sadness/frustrations reminds me that I’m not the only one fighting for my life, and there’s always a sense of validation there.
6. Do art
Creative expression. That’s it. Write until your hand cramps. Paint until the paint tubes are empty. Draw until your pencil is dull. Glue paper to other paper until your heart grows tired. Even if you aren’t a creative person, taking those negative emotions and putting them into a project will usher you toward healing. Your art doesn’t have to be museum-worthy, but it does have to be genuine and authentic to whatever mental space you’re in. And no, you don’t have to keep it. Feel free to trash it when you’re done–doing so is a type of symbolism for releasing emotion, as well.
7. Sleep… but don’t overdo it.
Yes, sleeping is GREAT. But sleeping frequently is a symptom of depression. Nonetheless, we fail to realize just how much energy being in a rut takes. It is exhausting to be sad. It is tiresome to feel discouraged. Sometimes our body needs that extra dose of rest and relaxation before we can tackle the hole we’re in. This is healthy. If your body is saying, ‘I can’t do this right now. Can we please lie/sit down?’... Please consider listening. This is your mind and body’s way of telling you what it needs. So get that extra rest. However, if you find yourself constantly using sleep to avoid any type of progress, check in with yourself. That’s when rest becomes less of a helpful tool and more of an unhealthy coping mechanism.
8. Friend/Family Time
Being around loved ones is similar to putting your phone on the charger. Let yourself be charged and rejuvenated by love from people who make you happy. You don’t even have to be open about your rut if you don’t feel called to. Use family/friend time to fill yourself with love and the constant reminder you have people in your corner. It’s important for me to get quality time with my friends, even if it’s just a 30-minute FaceTime session, because my friends make me happy. For those 30-minutes, it always feels like my troubles are packed away. When we go our separate ways again, it feels like I acquired another tool in my toolbox–I feel a bit more prepared and optimistic about tackling the rut.
9. Move your body
This is a major helper for me–movement. You’d be surprised by how much negativity is released through small beads of sweat and moderately-aching muscles. You don’t even need to go hard at it–start small by taking a short walk or learning an easy dance routine from Youtube. Go to the gym and lift some weights. Do leg-lifts from bed or a few jumping jacks before heading to the restroom. There’s no need to be stuck mentally and physically–release some of that tension through bodily movement and let your mind follow suit.
10. Open Up
This is important. If it gets bad, speak up about where you are. When I’m in my deepest rut, I find myself isolating from the people I love. This is a tell-tale sign that I’m in pretty deep and it’s time to be transparent in a safe space. This is typically when I tell my family and friends, ‘hey, I’m not MIA, I’m just in a bad place mentally,’. This is a time to tell your loved ones a few ways they can show up for you. I always say a check-in, a few texts, movie time, or game time does wonders for me. People don’t know where you are or how to show up for you unless you tell them. If you need to be honest, be honest. But do not hold everything inside when the burden gets too heavy.
Utilize resources like therapy, as well. Don’t neglect the need to release through acts of transparency. Sometimes just being honest about your current mental state can help pull you out of the rut.
“Sometimes just being honest about your current mental state can get you out of the rut.”
To sum it up, mental ruts look different for everyone. Get a better grip of your mental health maintenance by creating safety plans like this one. Having a plan will help you feel your best at a quicker pace.
Remember, you deserve to feel your best.
Hard times do not last forever, and you are worthy and deserving of peace, love, and stability.